When a parent lives with addiction, the needs and well-being of children are sometimes overlooked. But addiction of any form can rock the family system, impacting parent-child relationships in unfolding trauma situations.
Emotionally unavailable parenting is closely linked to parental addiction. It’s a key mechanism through which addiction affects the mental health of children and adolescents, causing emotional dysregulation and insecure attachment.
In this blog, we explore the connection between addiction, emotionally unavailable parents and young people’s mental health. We also look at how effective treatment can help families recover from addiction, heal from family trauma and nurture young people’s well-being.
What Is Addiction?
Addiction happens when a person compulsively takes a substance or engages in a behaviour, despite negative consequences to their physical, mental and social well-being. It’s characterised by a loss of control and very strong urges that are difficult to resist without support.
Addiction is most often associated with using drugs or alcohol, but it’s possible to become addicted to many different things. Some other types of addiction include:
- Sex addiction
- Work addiction
- Internet addiction
- Gambling addiction
- Shopping addiction
Recovering from addiction isn’t easy, but with the right support, it is possible. With therapy, medication, self-help groups and community support, anyone can recover from addiction and reclaim a fulfilling life.
How Does Addiction Affect Families?
Different family members can develop addictions, including parents and young people. When one family member lives with addiction, it affects the well-being of all the rest and the family dynamics as a whole. Addiction can also move intergenerationally: when parents live with addiction, it’s more likely that children will develop one too.
Parental addiction affects young people in different ways. Parents are often unable to meet children’s physical and emotional needs when their lives are dominated by seeking a substance or engaging in a behaviour. In many cases, families experience role-reversal, when children or adolescents become responsible for meeting their parents’ and family’s needs, disrupting normal processes of child development.
Parental addiction is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders among children, including substance use disorders and addictions. It’s also linked to social difficulties, lower academic achievement and behavioural problems.
What Is the Link Between Parental Addiction and Emotionally Unavailable Parents?
When a parent lives with addiction, seeking and using or engaging in a substance or behaviour dominates their daily life. They are preoccupied with thoughts about how to obtain the substance or behaviour and may spend a lot of time engaging in it or recovering from its effects.
Addiction often causes tensions with family and friends, causing conflicts that cause an additional emotional strain. A parent may also try to hide their addiction, exacerbating interpersonal difficulties.
As a result, parents can lack the emotional capacity to meet their child’s psychological needs. This can lead to emotional unavailability, which may involve:
- Dismissing young people’s emotions and failing to validate their feelings
- Avoiding or ending conversations about feelings
- Treating emotions as a sign of weakness
- Avoiding expressing emotions
- A lack or absence of warmth and affection towards a child
How Does Emotionally Unavailable Parenting Affect Children’s and Adolescents’ Mental Health?
Emotional expression, reciprocity and support are a foundation of our well-being. When our emotions are invalidated, ignored or rejected, it can have a profound impact on our mental health. We might experience loneliness, struggle to cope with our feelings or question our own identity.
When young people’s parents are emotionally unavailable, it can cause even deeper harm. During childhood and adolescence, young people’s brains are rapidly developing, along with their emotional and social skills. Children learn by observing their surroundings and through their interactions with others, especially their parents.
Emotional Dysregulation
When caregivers invalidate or avoid young people’s emotions, children may never gain the skills needed to understand, express and manage their emotions. This can lead to emotional dysregulation during childhood and later on in life. Young people with emotional dysregulation experience intense and sometimes deeply distressing emotions that feel difficult to soothe.
Emotional dysregulation is a core trait of and a risk factor for many mental health symptoms and disorders, including:
- Eating disorders
- Borderline personality disorder
- Self-harm and suicidality
Insecure Attachments
Emotional unavailability from parents also often leads to insecure attachment styles among young people. Insecure attachment develops when caregivers are unable to meet a child’s physical and/or emotional needs. Instead of forming secure and trusting bonds with a caregiver that enable learning and exploration, children can develop anxious or avoidant attachments.
Young people with anxious and/or avoidant attachments may have low self-esteem and a general mistrust of others. They may fear abandonment and be hypervigilant in relationships or avoid intimacy and emotional closeness.
Research shows that insecure attachment during childhood is linked to a range of mental health challenges, including:
- Anxiety
- Internalising symptoms, such as depression, inattention and problems with anger control
- Suicidality
- Conduct problems and emotional difficulties
Treating Parental Addiction and Healing from Family Trauma
Parental addiction can shake the family system, impacting parent-child relationships and the well-being of young people. However, addiction is treatable and with effective support, parents can recover, and families can heal.
Healing not only involves treating the addiction itself, but also addressing the family dynamics that have developed as a result. It includes taking care of young people, their needs and mental health challenges.
Consequently, a whole-person, trauma-focused approach to parental addiction involves a combination of treatment modalities, including individual therapy, family therapy and support for young people.
Addiction Treatment Modalities
There are several evidence-based treatment approaches that are proven to help people recover from addiction. These include:
- Cognitive-behavioural therapy, a type of talk therapy that focuses on interactions between our thoughts, feelings and behaviours
- Group therapy and self-help groups that provide opportunities for mutual encouragement and inspiration through shared experience
- Dual diagnosis treatment that addresses underlying mental health disorders that may be driving addictive behaviours
Family Therapy
Family therapy addresses the trauma and harm inflicted on the family system by addiction, including emotional unavailability and enabling behaviours. It supports families in restructuring family systems and developing new skills that facilitate healing and well-being.
Family therapy might explore conflict resolution skills, communication skills, parent-child boundaries, warmth, hostility and criticism within the family.
Support for Young People
Children and teenagers who have grown up with addiction in the family often require additional support, especially if they have developed mental health disorders. This might include individual or group therapies, trauma-focused therapy and experiential therapy.
Early intervention for young people is especially important, helping to prevent mental health challenges from developing and persisting later on in life.
The Wave Clinic: Transformative Mental Health Support for Young People and Families
The Wave Clinic provides specialist mental health programs for children, adolescents and families. We strive to find the best treatment setting for each family, offering residential and outpatient care, family therapy intensives and one-to-one therapy weeks with families at their home or a location of choice.
Our programs are trauma-focused and family-centred, emphasising the role of past experiences and interpersonal relationships in shaping how we think, feel and act.
We specialise in borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, compulsive sexual behaviours, complex trauma and other mental health challenges. Our team draws on experts from around the world with exceptional knowledge and experience.
If you’re interested in finding out more about our programs, get in touch today. We’re here to make a difference.
