As young people move into their adolescent years, friendships become increasingly important. Friendships are an invaluable source of support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. They also shape a young person’s identity and self-concept.
However, when young people encounter difficulties within these friendships, it can be deeply distressing. Fallouts and conflicts can have a profoundly negative impact on young people’s well-being, affecting their self-esteem and sense of self.
Teenage girls may experience these conflicts face-to-face, but they can also happen online. Gender norms that discourage girls from open conflict can push teenagers towards online animosity. These conflicts may often remain confined to social media and never be properly addressed or resolved.
This blog examines the way teenage girls socialise on social media, and how conflicts develop and unfold. It explores how these experiences impact their mental health and well-being.
How Do Teenage Girls Socialise Online?
Socially-constructed gender roles mean that the way girls socialise tends to be different from boys. Friendships between girls are typically more intense and intimate, characterised by values of empathy, support, and interdependence. Girls socialise in a way that emphasises relationships and connectedness, and these relationships are important to their self-value. They usually feel better about themselves when they have meaningful, trusting, and reliable friendships.
Social media is one medium through which adolescent girls can socialise, creating and maintaining friendships. While social media can be used to communicate with a wider community and more distant friendships, it’s also a way to speak, share, and organise with close friends. Sometimes, this communication happens through private messages; in other interactions, it may be visible to everyone in public posts and comments.
Displaying Friendship Skills Through Social Media
Social media isn’t just a place for teenagers to maintain and enrich friendships, but also to show their friendship skills to others. The display of friendships through public posts, comments, and other interactions allows their friendships and friendship skills to be observed by a wider group of friends and community members. Teenage girls may take care to seem close, loyal, and supportive with high-quality and meaningful friendships.
However, social media also makes it easy to target individuals who do not fit in with norms or ideals about how friends should behave. Teenage girls might receive hurtful comments on photos, posts, and other content they share. These comments can come from people they know less well, as well as from close friends.
How Common Are Online Conflicts and Fall-Outs?
Most parents will have heard stories about social media conflicts. There might have been arguments in the comments section of a teen’s post or one teen blocking another. Research about teen social media use also confirms that conflicts are common.
A study among US teens found that 45% of 13- to 17-year-olds reported feeling overwhelmed by the drama on social media. 44% said that they often or sometimes unfriend or unfollow others. This might be because they created ‘too much drama’ or because they were involved in bullying.
What Is Indirect Aggression and Why Is It More Common Among Girls?
Indirect aggression refers to actions that intend to harm another person through more covert actions, rather than direct aggression. Research shows that across different cultures, it’s the most common form of aggression used by girls.
Girls are socialised to conform to the gender norms that exist in our communities and societies. In many places, this means avoiding displays of anger or direct aggression, as well as open conflict. This means it’s more likely that conflicts take place through indirect, relational aggression. This typically involves attempting to harm another person by undermining their social standing or self-esteem.
The same taboos around face-to-face conflict may also encourage teenage girls to confront one another online, rather than in person. Because face-to-face conflict is often promoted as unacceptable or threatening to friendships, teenage girls may turn to social media as a way to express their feelings without ending a friendship for good.
How Do Girls Describe the Conflicts They Experience Online?
A study among Irish second-level school girls found that most said they had experienced or witnessed conflict online and offline.
Many girls described how online comments and ‘venting’ were never acknowledged face-to-face. Equally, Facebook fights often didn’t develop into in-person conflicts, but those involved tended to ignore each other or keep their distance in the classroom, at least for some time. Some girls spoke about how online conflicts led to a period of distance before becoming close friends again, without the conflict ever being addressed in person.
What Happens When Online Conflicts Aren’t Addressed?
Teenage girls often face social pressure to be well-liked and considered a ‘good friend’ by their peers. Sometimes, this pressure discourages them from addressing issues that arise and from engaging in healthy conflict. This means that issues often remain unresolved and can have a lasting impact on the friendship, leading to tensions, distance, or anxiety.
The pressure to avoid conflict can also make teenagers reluctant to confront perpetrators of aggressive or harmful behaviour. It may dissuade them from sharing or reporting harmful behaviours to parents, teachers, or other figures who can facilitate processes of support and accountability. Ultimately, this means that more serious instances of harm, which may constitute cyberbullying, also go unaddressed.
How Do Friendship Difficulties and Fall-Outs Affect Teenage Girls’ Mental Health?
Friendships often play a crucial role in the well-being of young people. When friendships are stable and fulfilling, they can provide support, resilience, security, and a sense of belonging. Conversely, difficulties in friendships or the loss of relationships can be deeply distressing, threatening this sense of belonging.
Research shows that peer stressors are associated with mental health problems, including both emotional and behavioural concerns. Peer stressors may include peer victimisation, but also things like the loss of friendships. Girls are more likely to experience symptoms like anxiety, depression, and somatic pains than behavioural issues.
Supporting Young People With Mental Health Issues
It’s normal for young people to face some challenges in their friendships. These challenges can often be navigated with support from other friends, parents, or teachers. But when these difficulties start to affect their mental health, they may need additional support. If a young person has been a target of bullying, including cyber-bullying, this support is especially important.
There are many types of mental health support available for young people. These include individual counselling, group therapy, experiential therapies and creative therapies. Different mental health presentations require different kinds of treatment, and treatment approaches should fit each young person’s characteristics and needs. Many young people benefit from a combination of different treatment modalities.
The Wave Clinic: Specialist Mental Health Support for Young People
The Wave Clinic offers residential and outpatient mental health support for children, teenagers, and young adults. We take a whole-person approach to mental health care, emphasising the way that past experiences and social relationships shape the way young people think, feel, and behave.
Our residential programs combine clinical care with experiences, adventures, and education, supporting young people to grow in self-confidence and find their place in the world.
If you’re interested in finding out more about our programs, get in touch today.
