When a young person has an eating problem, parents are often unsure how to respond. Often, the situations they encounter are outside of their parenting knowledge and the skills they have developed. At the same time, intense emotions and crisis moments can make it hard to make good decisions. Parents may experience a lot of anxiety about parenting and the best way to support a young person.
Eating problems always require professional support, and this support should involve the family, too. This means that mental health professionals should help parents understand their child’s experience and develop the skills they need to support their recovery journey. This might happen through family therapy, parenting interventions, or discussions with therapists.
In this blog, we offer some basic information about what an eating problem is and how families can best support a young person.
What Is An Eating Problem?
Eating problems develop when thoughts or feelings about food or eating start to harm a young person’s daily life. Eating might become a source of anxiety or stress, or dominate their thoughts and daily routine.
Eating problems can involve different harmful behaviours and feelings. These might include:
- controlling what or how much they eat
- eating a lot of food in a short time and experiencing a sense of loss of control
- feeling guilty about eating
- Vomiting, using laxatives, or excessively exercising to limit the amount of energy they consume
- Using food to manage emotions
If a young person’s eating problem fits within certain sets of criteria, they may be diagnosed with an eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa or binge eating disorder. But it’s important to remember that eating problems can be very serious even if they don’t fit within the box of a specific diagnosis. Any eating problem requires professional support.
Why Do Eating Problems Develop?
Eating problems often develop when young people are experiencing other mental health problems, like anxiety, depression, or the effects of trauma. They’re underpinned by emotions and experiences that contribute to and maintain disordered eating behaviours.
These behaviours may be a way to try and manage difficult thoughts and feelings. They might offer a sense of control or make them feel like they have a way to cope.
Young people with eating disorders often find it hard to understand, identify, and/or manage their emotions. They also may struggle to form fulfilling and supportive relationships. Most adolescents receiving treatment for eating disorders have experienced at least one form of trauma.
Supporting a Young Person with an Eating Problem
If you’re concerned that a young person has an eating problem, you should always seek professional support. Eating behaviours can become very fixed and hard to change. If unaddressed, they can cause serious damage to a young person’s mental and physical health.
The good news is that eating disorders are treatable and, with the right support, young people can recover. But it’s important that young people receive this support as early as possible to prevent further harm and a more difficult recovery.
Supporting Your Child at Home
Alongside professional support, it’s also important to build relationships with a young person that support their recovery journey. Families can play an invaluable role in recovery from an eating problem, helping to reinforce positive behaviours and change.
Warmth and Closeness
Sometimes, even when families have the best intentions, they can respond to a young person’s eating problem in ways that are unhelpful or even harmful. Parents often experience different kinds of distress about a young person’s experience, such as anxiety, fear, or guilt. In some cases, these emotions can push parents to become critical or hostile.
Young people with eating disorders are often already experiencing feelings of isolation, and emotional distance from family members can make this worse. Increased isolation and other relationship problems can encourage disordered eating behaviours to continue. Research shows that interpersonal difficulties are a key maintaining factor for anorexia nervosa.
It’s important not to respond to eating disorders with hostility, but with warmth and a readiness to listen. Positive, warm relationships can help young people develop a more vibrant sense of self that values their many attributes and strengths, rather than focusing on eating behaviours. By listening to what a young person has to say, you can affirm and encourage speech and behaviours that promote change and recovery.
Continuing Daily Life Together
Eating disorders can feel all-consuming for both parents and young people. But it’s important to keep seeing your child as a whole person, rather than focusing only on their eating disorder. While it may not be easy, try to continue some of your usual routines, spending time together and doing things you both enjoy. This helps maintain close and warm relationships where young people feel like they are valued and appreciated.
Staying Calm
When someone you love has an eating problem, it can bring up lots of intense emotions. Some situations are especially likely to be difficult or tense, such as family meal times. It’s important to try and stay as calm as possible in these moments to avoid creating more anxiety for the young person.
If you feel like your emotions are becoming hard to manage, it can help to step away from the situation and come back later.
Supporting Social Situations
Staying connected to friends and family is really important for a young person’s recovery. But when socialising involves or revolves around food, it can feel stressful.
In these situations, pre-planning can help reduce their anxiety and make it easier for them to attend an event. You might want to think together about an alternative place where they can go or a ‘way out’ if the situation feels too intense. If they’re planning to go to a restaurant, it can help to look at a menu and decide what to eat beforehand.
Looking After Yourself
Caring for a person with an eating problem can be incredibly hard. Sometimes, anxiety and fear about the well-being of a child can be overwhelming. These experiences can start to take a toll on carers’ own mental health, too.
Keep in mind that you also need support, and it’s not something you should go through alone. You may want to speak with friends or relatives about how you’re feeling and ask for practical support if you need it. You might also like to reach out for professional support for your own mental health or join an online support group for carers of young people with eating disorders.
The Wave Clinic: Specialist Mental Health Support for Young People and Families
The Wave Clinic offers specialist residential and outpatient treatment spaces for young people and families. We take a whole-person, social approach to mental health care, emphasising the role of past experiences, relationships, and environments in shaping the way young people think, feel, and act today. We’re a Global Centre of Excellence for the treatment of eating disorders, drawing on exceptional expertise from around the world.
Our eating disorder programs follow a trauma-focused approach, carefully and sensitively addressing experiences of trauma from the start of a treatment program. Alongside individual modalities, we provide a selection of family services, including family therapy, experiential family therapy, and parenting intensives. We support families to create new ways of interacting and connecting, transforming family dynamics to nurture a young person’s recovery.
If you’re interested in finding out more about our programs, get in touch today.
