At The Wave Clinic, most of the young people we treat for self-harm ask why their parents didn’t seek treatment sooner. In the context of self-harm, parent-child relationships are complex. Young people may tell their parents they don’t want help, and parents can feel frustrated or overwhelmed. They may respond with intense emotions or try to avoid facing what is going on.
But in the end, we need to remember that every instance of self-harm is serious. Parents should seek professional advice straight away, regardless of the way their child is self-harming or the dynamics of their relationship. Self-harm always requires support from a professional; however, a child is self-harming and regardless of its physical impact.
Why Do Teenagers Self-Harm?
Teenage girls can self-harm for many reasons. Self-harm happens when a young person is experiencing intense pain and distress. It should never be dismissed as a phase or a trend, or as attention-seeking.
Some of the reasons teenage girls might self-harm include:
- using physical pain to distract from emotional pain
- trying to find control over their emotions and experiences
- seeking groundedness during dissociation
- relieving feelings of numbness
- temporarily escaping from stress or anxiety
- expressing or regulating intense emotions, such as anger, fear, or loss
When Should Parents Seek Professional Help for Self-Harm?
It’s normal for parents to be unsure how to respond when a teenager self-harms. But it’s essential to bear in mind that self-harm always requires professional support. If parents are concerned that their child is self-harming, they should reach out to a mental health professional as soon as they can.
Sometimes, self-harming behaviours are overlooked because of their physical impact. Teenagers can self-harm in many different ways, and some cause greater physical harm to the body than others. However, the emotional pain that a young person is experiencing cannot be measured by the harm caused to their body.
How Should Parents Respond When A Child Self-Harms?
Parents can experience a lot of emotions when they find out that their child has self-harmed. Sometimes, parents are scared about the reality of their child’s experience and try to minimise or ignore it. They may also feel responsible for how their child is feeling and look for ways to cope with guilt or shame.
But it’s really important that parents don’t minimise or invalidate a teenager’s experience. Minimising self-harm can cause a young person’s feelings and behaviours to intensify, putting them at further risk.
If a teenager is self-harming, parents should try to:
- tell their child that they are there to offer support, without judgment
- listen to their child and reassure them
- recognise and validate their pain
- remain open-minded
Self-Harm Among Young People in Dubai
There are limited large-scale prevalence studies about self-harm in Dubai or the UAE. But there are a few studies that can provide us with some ideas.
A 2021 study among youth accessing mental health services at Rashid Hospital’s Child Psychiatry service in Dubai found that self-harm was common among those seeking help, and especially among those with mood disorders. Their results showed that:
- 40.5% of those with depressive disorders had self-harmed
- Young people who self-harmed tended to seek help later than those who didn’t
A study based on the Global Burden of Disease 2021 found that self-harm in the UAE has increased since 1990. It also found that across the Middle East and North Africa region, including in the UAE, self-harm was more common among males than females.
What Support Is Available for Self-Harm?
Acknowledging that a young person is self-harming can feel scary, but it’s the first step to accessing recovery. With professional support, young people can learn to manage their emotions and experiences in healthier ways and move away from self-harming behaviours.
This process isn’t always linear, and making changes can take time. But it’s essential to remind a young person that setbacks are a regular part of recovery, and they are still making incredible progress.
Different kinds of treatment approaches can support young people to recover from self-harm. The type of treatment that suits a young person may depend on their personality, experiences, and the reasons why they self-harm. Self-harm is often a symptom of another mental health disorder, like depression or borderline personality disorder. So treatment for these disorders can also help reduce self-harming behaviours.
Talking therapy is one of the most common treatment options for self-harm. This might involve:
- Cognitive-behavioural therapy, a talking therapy that emphasises the interactions between our thought patterns and behaviours
- Dialectical-behavioural therapy, a therapy designed for people experiencing intense emotions that combines the acceptance of feelings and experiences with positive change
- Mentalisation-based therapy, a talking therapy that helps us understand the mental states of ourselves and others
Where Can Parents Find Support?
Parenting a self-harming child can be hard. Parents often feel distressed about their child’s experience, but also their role in the family. They may feel like they’ve been pulled away from their role as a parent, or how they imagine it to be, developing a different kind of relationship with their child. When parents are under a lot of pressure, it can become increasing difficult to make good decisions.
Within a family system, the well-being and behaviours of each family member affect all the others. At the same time, the dynamics and organisation of a family impact family relationships and individual well-being. This means that parents and other family members can play an essential role in a young person’s recovery.
Family therapy and parenting interventions can support parents in understanding how to best support a young person through education and skill-learning. They can also address parenting techniques and family dynamics that may be unhelpful for a young person, establishing new, positive connections and ways of relating.
The Wave Clinic: Specialised Mental Health Support for Young People and Families
The Wave Clinic offers specialist mental health support for young people and families. We understand that a young person doesn’t exist in isolation, and we recognise the profound impact those surrounding them can have on their lives. We offer interventions for parents and families, transforming connections and developing new skills to nurture a young person’s recovery journey.
Our interventions include three to five-day family intensive and three-day parenting intensives that support parents whose children are experiencing borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, self-harm, and intense emotions. We work with parents who are experiencing anxiety about parenting and who may be finding it challenging to maintain a supportive relationship with their child.
We understand that in crisis mode, family dynamics can shift and may not offer the strongest support system for a young person. We help parents to move back into their role as a parent, understand the impact of intergenerational trauma within the family, and develop strategies to rebuild family relationships.
If you’d like to find more about these programs or our other opportunities, you can contact us online, by phone, or send an email to hello@thewaveclinic.com.
