When a parent engages in compulsive sexual behaviours, it creates harm throughout the family. Families can be understood as systems, where the behaviour of one family member affects every other member – and the system as a whole. Conflicts between parents impact teenagers’ well-being, and they, in turn, observe and internalise their parents’ attitudes and behaviours.
While partners experiencing compulsive sexual behaviours often receive mental health support, this rarely extents to their children. But these behaviours can have a big impact on teenagers’ mental health and development. Parental addiction and mental health issues are linked to depression, anxiety, and eating disorders among young people – and they’re more likely to have mental health disorders as adults.
At the same time, exposure to objectifying sexual behaviours shapes the way teenagers understand gender, sex, and their own identity. With misogynistic spaces on social media reaching more children than ever, these ideas only add to escalating cultures of misogyny among young people.
Prevention is a fundamental pillar of adolescent mental health care. That’s why it’s so important to work with teenagers in families affected by compulsive sexual behaviours to prevent long-term harm.
This blog offers some information about the impact of compulsive sexual behaviours on young people’s mental health. It also outlines the kind of support that teenagers should receive to prevent and recover from harm.
How Do Compulsive Sexual Behaviours Affect Children and Teenagers?
There are many different types of compulsive sexual behaviours. These include watching pornography, online sex, or sex with their partner, other adults they know, or sex workers. In many cases, these sexual encounters objectify women – whether through misogynistic pornography content or an objectifying and disrespectful use of sex workers.
A 2010 study explored the impact of compulsive cybersexual behaviours on the family. They asked parents how cybersex addiction had affected their children. Their responses included:
- Children had lost time with their parents
- Children had seen parents arguing and the stress in their home
- Children had seen some of the pornography and it had negatively affected them
Each of these consequences can harm a young person’s mental health and well-being.
Attention and Attachment
Compulsive sexual behaviours – and sex addiction- dominate a person’s life. Parents with compulsive sexual behaviours plan their lives around cybersex or real-life sex and are preoccupied with engaging in and seeking sexual activity. They may neglect their home responsibilities and stop spending quality time with their children.
In some cases, the other parent spends a lot of time and energy managing their partner’s compulsive behaviours – and their own emotions. They may develop feelings of low self-esteem, rejection, and abandonment that can become mental health disorders. Some take steps to try and limit their partner’s behaviours.
All of these consequences can take away from the time they would usually spend with their children and make it hard for them to meet their needs.
It’s well documented that when one or both parents are unable to meet their children’s physical or emotional needs, children are more likely to develop mental health disorders. In such environments, young people may form insecure attachments with their parents and, consequently, lack trusted relationships that can transfer social and emotional knowledge and skills. They may find it harder to form stable relationships with other people and develop a fear of abandonment or hypervigilance.
Research links insecure attachment styles and parent mental health issues to the development of mental health symptoms and disorders among young people. This includes eating disorders and borderline personality disorder, symptoms of anxiety and depression, and problematic behaviours.
Exposure to Pornography and the Objectification of Women
When fathers engage in compulsive sexual behaviours, children are often exposed to pornography or sexual behaviours that objectify women. On average, most children view pornography for the first time around the start of their teenage years – but when fathers compulsively watch porn, it’s likely to happen even earlier.
This means that young people may develop ideas and opinions about sex and women through pornography, often before they receive other forms of social education. Most pornography content objectifies and degrades women and some encourages violent or abusive acts. This can contribute to sexism, misogyny, and patterns of harassment or abuse between children and teenagers.
These ‘lessons’ fit into a world where misogynistic ideas are easily encountered. With social media influencers like Andrew Tate spreading misogynistic values across social media communities, misogyny in schools and among teenagers is escalating. Home environments can act as a buffer to these values, but when a parent engages in compulsive sexual behaviours, they often reinforce it.
Some children, particularly girls, may internalise the objectification of women and sexism they encounter within and outside of their families. This can affect their self-esteem and make them more likely to develop mental health disorders such as eating disorders.
As adolescence is a key time of identity exploration and formation, these encounters are also likely to shape how adolescent girls understand and define themselves – identities that can persist for a long time.
Conflict and Stress at Home
When fathers engage in compulsive sexual behaviours, it often leads to hostile conflict between partners. The family system and home environment may be deeply ruptured, creating stress and tension in all aspects of life.
Research shows that hostile conflicts between parents are linked to mental health symptoms in young people, including distress and low self-esteem. Adolescents who experience more family conflicts while they’re in high school are more likely to have mental health disorders as young adults.
Supporting Teenagers and Preventing Harm
There should be two important pillars of support for teenagers in families with parental compulsive sexual behaviours. One is to work with the entire family to identify harmful dynamics between parents and children and develop more positive ones. The other is to work with teenagers individually, helping them to develop healthy coping mechanisms, recognise harmful role-modelling, and recover from mental health symptoms.
There are several different types of family interventions. These include family systems therapy, psychoeducation, and family behavioural therapy.
Equally, teenagers can benefit from different forms of individual and group therapy. These might include:
- Cognitive-behavioural therapy
- Interpersonal therapy
- Psychodynamic therapy
- Counselling
- Creative arts therapy
- Somatic experiencing
Teenagers affected by compulsive sexual behaviours within the family require attention and care. Their needs should never be overlooked or sidelined. With effective support, young people can develop ways to cope with their experiences and continue to grow, develop, and flourish.
The Wave Clinic: Specialist Mental Health Support for Young People and Families
The Wave Clinic offers specialist mental health support for young people and families. We offer residential and outpatient programs with a diverse selection of evidence-based treatment modalities led by experts in child and adolescent psychiatry.
We recognise the integral role of the family in both mental health recovery and the prevention of mental health symptoms. Families are usually a young person’s closest support system and their centre of social and emotional learning. Disruption to this system can have a deep and lasting impact.
Acknowledging this means placing the family at the forefront of mental health support. We fully involve families in our treatment programs through collaborative treatment planning and family interventions. We form personal connections with family members and offer ongoing support long after young people have left our spaces.
If you’re interested in finding out more about our programs, get in touch today.
