Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder is a neurodevelopmental condition that involves differences in attention and emotional regulation, hyperactivity and impulsivity. ADHD isn’t a mental health disorder but a form of neurodiversity: a different way of experiencing the world that comes with both strengths and challenges.
ADHD develops in childhood and may continue throughout adolescence, young adulthood and adulthood, although the way ADHD traits are expressed often changes as a person moves through life.
One common trait among young people with ADHD is rejection sensitivity. Rejection sensitivity is a form of emotional dysregulation: difficulties in modulating and calming emotional reactions to internal or external events. Emotional dysregulation is a significant experience of many young people with ADHD, contributing to many of the everyday challenges that people with ADHD face, including unemployment and interpersonal difficulties.
In recent years, ADHD people have highlighted the impact that rejection sensitivity -once an overlooked trait -has on their lives. In this blog, we explore the experience and consequences of rejection sensitivity among young people with ADHD – and the powerful role that respect and mutual understanding can play in its prevention.
ADHD and Person-First Language
Many neurodiverse people explain how neurodiverse conditions like ADHD are part of their identity – an integral part of who they are, and something to be proud of. In this blog, we will use identity-first language such as ‘ADHD young people’ and ‘ADHD traits’ that emphasises ADHD as a way of being, rather than a medicalised condition.
What Is Rejection Sensitivity?
Rejection sensitivity is the experience of psychological distress following a real or perceived rejection. It can also be a reaction to criticism from others.
Young people who experience rejection sensitivity perceive or notice rejection more easily than other people. They also experience stronger emotional responses that may include misery, anxiety and pain.
Young people with ADHD and rejection sensitivity may experience intense emotional reactions to social situations that may not even be registered by others. This can make friendships and relationships feel tiring and painful, and may sometimes lead to conflicts.
What Causes Rejection Sensitivity?
While rejection sensitivity is usually thought of as a personality trait, it’s a common feature of mental disorders that involve emotional dysregulation. Rejection sensitivity may have many different causes, including both genetic and environmental factors.
Experts think that childhood trauma and early experiences of insecure attachment often play a key role in the development of rejection sensitivity.
Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in Young People with ADHD
In recent years, various studies have explored the causes, nature and effects of rejection sensitivity in young people.
A study among college students in Hungary found that the link between ADHD traits and rejection sensitivity was mediated by well-being, creative or executive proficiency, self-regulation, and resilience. This means that traits and skills such as creativity and self-regulation may help prevent rejection sensitivity among young people with ADHD.
They also found that savouring skills (techniques that enhance and prolong positive emotions) could help alleviate rejection sensitivity.
Another study among 1,235 German 10-to 19-year-olds found that young people with ADHD traits experienced more rejection sensitivity than others. They also showed that rejection sensitivity partially explained the link between ADHD and mental health challenges, including depression symptoms.
How Do People with ADHD Describe Experiences of Rejection Sensitivity?
In a qualitative study, people with ADHD described rejection sensitivity as a painful and overwhelming experience that may last from a few hours to several weeks. They frequently spoke about the themes of masking, bodily sensations and withdrawal.
Withdrawal
Many people with ADHD describe experiences of withdrawal from friendships, family and relationships as a result of rejection sensitivity. Often, this withdrawal is pre-emptive and an attempt to avoid the possibility of rejection.
They may find the fear of rejection even more distressing than rejection itself. Some speak about their reluctance to reach out to people in case they will be rejected, preventing them from forming or maintaining friendships. They might also delay submitting assignments because they’re afraid of the criticism they might receive.
Masking
Masking is a tool that neurodivergent people use to hide or camouflage neurodivergent traits. It’s a way of ‘fitting in’ with a society that’s catered to neurotypical people and judges or discriminates against neurodiversity.
In the context of rejection sensitivity, masking might look like putting on a tough front and pretending to be unperturbed by criticism, in order to hide their sensitivity. However, masking comes with many difficult consequences. Young people may feel disconnected from themselves and other people, exhausted by pretending to be someone else and unable to relate as their true selves.
Bodily Sensations
ADHD people often describe experiencing rejection as physical pains and sensations in their bodies. These somatic experiences may involve a pinch in the throat, a burning sensation spreading through the body, nausea, or a tight chest.
This can make the experience of rejection or perceived rejection even more intense and exacerbate avoidance.
What Are the Consequences of Rejection Sensitivity for Young People with ADHD?
Rejection sensitivity can have a big impact on the lives of young people with ADHD, particularly in respect to their relationships. Sadly, in our present society, ADHD traits and loneliness are linked: research has found that adults with more ADHD traits tend to feel more lonely.
Rejection sensitivity may be a key mediating factor in this association, discouraging ADHD people from reaching out to make new friends, asking a friend to meet up or expressing their love and affection. Loneliness – the lack of authentic or genuine connection with others – can also be driven by masking and the sense that relationships are not built around one’s true self.
Rejection sensitivity can also affect other aspects of daily life, from school work to job opportunities. It may act as a barrier to pursuing exciting opportunities or lead to procrastination and school or work-related anxiety. In a world where places at educational institutions are often competitive, it may impact young people’s transition to higher education, whether vocational or academic.
Preventing and Relieving Rejection Sensitivity: Building Mutual Understanding
It’s now well understood that many of the challenges and difficulties faced by neurodiverse people are rooted in the way society is structured and how we relate to one another. These challenges are not inherent but a consequence of living in a society that leaves no room for different ways of thinking and being.
Many people with ADHD describe how rejection sensitivity – and its painful consequences – could be prevented if they received more understanding and empathy from others. If friends, teachers and others were ready to provide reassurance that they were loved and cared for, the distress and anxiety that grew from perceived or expected rejection could be avoided. Such empathy and understanding would also make it easier for young people with ADHD to be themselves, rather than masking their ADHD traits.
The Wave: Inspiring and Inclusive Mental Health Support for Young People
The Wave offers specialist mental health support for young people and families. We combine exceptional clinical care with enriching experiences, education and social responsibility, supporting young people to grow in self-confidence and develop the skills they need to follow their dreams.
We prioritise fairness and inclusivity, adapting our programs to meet the needs of neurodiverse young people, emphasise each individual’s strengths and celebrate difference.
If you’re interested in finding out more about our programs, get in touch with us today. We’re here to help.
